1. |
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I owe you six years of poetry.
One year of laughs.
About 500 dollars,
and proof that some love lasts.
I owe you six months of confidence.
A book to clear the past.
An undetermined time of space,
to forgive the recent things come to pass.
Recent things you defined as the aftermath.
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2. |
I See You {inside of me}
02:19
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I still see you inside of me every single day.
When faced with opposition
I realize you have changed me
and the way I behave.
I was an angry child,
and I took my aggression out on others
I wasn't a bad kid though,
my soul was just covered.
It took 16 years for my full potential to be discovered.
And when it was. (ha) I was beautiful.
You took me by the hand and showed me
what I could be
More than what the broken children were portrayed like on TV
I could be normal, and do normal things.
I didn't have to be alone,
frustrated in the shame.
I could be more, I could be more than just unbreakable.
And I still don't ever plan on being a patient at a hospital.
But when my family starts dancing around the next medical scare.
I will be there, I couldn't do that before.
Share a room with death, I could feel him before entering the door.
Not anymore, He knows the score.
He can have me when I finish my work.
Nothing less, and Nothing more.
I used to be bored.
everything seemed to intrigued me
but nothing could keep my attention.
You can put me on adderall doc,
but I'm still not gonna listen.
except to you I memorized every word that you said,
I would play back our most recent conversation in my head,
lying in bed, just staring at the ceiling.
trying to figure out if it could possibly be love that I was feeling.
I used to think the people around me were just faking it.
Giving someone everything you have and expect nothing in return
is that really worth the risk.
Well it is, and it was, and I would do it all again.
Just to plant one more kiss
and taste your soft, chapstick coated lips.
But atlas everyday could be our last,
and this could be it.
I'm not the angry child,
and that's not the way to behave
I realized you have changed me
and when faced with opposition
I will see you inside me every single day
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3. |
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played connect the dots with your beauty marks
And I ended up with picture perfect sheet music
I read your musical notes with a composer's eyes
And heard our song for the first time
My spine is still tingling, mental images of your fine tune
is what I've been nodding my head to lately
Every now and then you can catch me humming
your nudity under my heavy breath
I heavily suggest you resurrect
your ancient neglected dust collector
If you distrust the distance in my seldom plucked heart strings
Sit stripped before your full length
Perform your reflection backwards
Maybe then you will understand the rhythm in my movement
Listen when the news is sent
Extend when the rules are bent
I'll be waiting to take your leave
Make me a victim of your two step
Make me an apprentice of your body parts
Teach me to dance to your beauty marks
I'm stepping on toes here and I don't care
It's hopeless, it's hopeless
It's hopelessness
It's hopelessness holding this openness to blow a kiss
So close your lips but don't get pissed
and throw a fist at this vocalist
I'm not emotionless, in fact I broke my wrist
when I wrote the list of all those I miss
This is my poker face, Mister Feel Nothing
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4. |
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She had a bad day
and so have you.
You want to hold her,
but she doesn't want you.
You're lost, alone.
and all you gets a dial tone
You're lost, alone.
You want to call her up on the phone.
She's a bastard,
and you are a fool.
You got her to trust you,
then what did you do?
you were lost, alone.
Through the empty streets you had roamed
you were lost alone
It was too late when you found your home.
to tell her
"you don't have to
give up on a love that's true.
You don't have to
walk a mile in your shoes
I could carry you,
I could carry you."
She is beautiful
and she is smart.
You want to talk,
but she ignores you, cause you broke her heart.
You're lost, alone.
you hurt for her more then she'll know
You're lost, alone.
You want to show her how you've grown
and tell her
"you don't have to
give up on a love that's true.
You don't have to
walk a mile in your shoes
I could carry you,"
She is Terrified
and tides will come and go
sometimes they'll overflow
The highs will turn into lows
You're lost, alone.
Cause the futures never set in stone
You're lost, alone.
and tired you may sink below
just call me
You don't have to
give up on a love that's true.
You don't have to
walk a mile in your shoes
You don't have to
give up on a love that's true.
You don't have to
walk a mile in your shoes
I can carry you.
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5. |
Still Here {temp rough}
02:30
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I'm still here
I understand why you won't listen
but I said I'm still here.
I have stayed in this place for days, frozen in fear.
Till the sun rose and I thawed me out
and I went searching for myself.
Dark alleys of sin, Bars Full of Gin
took me weeks to find out this life isn't who I am.
I'm a whiskey/Bourbon man
The one thing I have learned is
the heavier the drink, the lighter the hand
that holds the gavel.
cause its impossible to heal
when your perception of time unravels.
Its the moment when you realize the road less traveled
is less traveled for a reason Mr Frost.
Sometimes the undiscovered isn't worth the gamble.
I put everything I had on you
and now the house is telling me that I lost.
All I want to know is the cost, to buy back in.
Cause my body keep aging and time keeps progressin.
But I just wait here, calk it up to life lessons.
You see my grandma died this wednesday,
and I was denied the right to say goodbye.
Denied the right to tell her how I loved sitting on her porch
with everyone just watching the cars go by.
Or that my love for music was derived
from my great grandpas joy as he played in the back room.
Where the amps were stacked high, and the vibe was heavy.
It was there my foot first started tappin
and I learned to rocksteady.
I'm sorry I didn't vist much after he passed.
I just couldn't stand people sitting in his spot on the couch.
As his place in this family slipped through the cracks.
I could see his ghost in the corner of the room.
trying to relax, whispering, "I'm still here"
But he's not, you were, and she still is.
So even if she ignores me
how could I not pick up the pen?
To write her even if it just to make amends.
But first I have to find a way to get her attention.
I will try to keep it simple, and sincere.
I guess I will start with something honest like
"I'm still here…"
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